Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Mom

She is probably going to kill me for this but I don't care :)

As most of you know I didn't live with my Mom when I was a kid, my dads parents raised me. I never really had a close relationship with my mom, and at the time it was hard to understand her choices. Now that I'm older and have kids of my own I can see why she did what she did. She had to keep me safe and the only way she could was to leave me behind. She had a lot of soul searching/growing up to do and didn't know how to do it and was getting herself in to sticky situations. I know now that the last thing she wanted to do was drag me along through all her mistakes. She had it ruff as a kid and had a mom who was not forgiving and down right mean. I'm sure not having anyone to fall back on, to look to for advice or help is a big reason why she made the mistakes she made in her life.

I'm grateful for what she did now by leaving me with my grandparents. As hard as it is to think of all the years I didn't have her, and all the nights I wanted her there, and all the times I cried myself to sleep thinking about her, I'm so grateful for the decision she made. I know it could not have been easy and knowing I didn't understand why I'm sure didn't make it any easier.

My moms birthday is today (Happy Birthday MOM) and mother day was just on Sunday, so these 2 days so close have had me thinking a lot about her (not to mention she is all the way in Connecticut and I cant even give her a hug today). My mom is one of the FUNNEST people you could ever meet. She is funny, is always happy, outgoing and loves to just explore and try new things. She is loving, smart, crafty and unbelievably thoughtful to others. She loves people and making new friends and the best part is she is the worlds BEST Nana ever. Justin is so close to her even though he has only been able to see her in person a few short times. Skyla just adores her Nana (and papa too, sky is a Daddy & Papa's girl) but she loves her Nana and will talk forever on the phone with her if I let her. We are getting web camera's soon so my mom can see and talk to the kids and I over the Internet and I can already hear the arguments me and Sky are going to have over this LOL. Even though we are 2000+ miles apart these kids are spoiled by her.

Me and my mom have gotten really close over the past few years. I'm so grateful to have her in my life. She is one of my best friends and I'm so glad I have been proven wrong about one thing. I never though I would have a close Mother-Daughter relationship with my mom but I do! Probably more then I realize. Knowing this make me even more grateful for the church in my life cause now I have the unmoving truth that I will get to have my mom with me and my family forever.

Happy Mother's day and Happy Birthday Mom. I love you more then you know.


Missy said...

Girl, you are awesome!! You are such a goo example! I am so glad things have turned out in your favor! You deserve the best.

Kathryn said...

So sweet!

Isn't it interesting how your perspective changes when you grow up?